I have this feeling that 2015 is inviting all of us to find new ways of being, doing and living. For me it feels like an invitation to slow down even just a little, be kinder to myself and allow more softness in my life.
Have you wondered what this year will bring for you? Maybe you’ve set some resolutions for yourself – to get fitter, eat healthier, give up smoking, read more books.
I like the beginning of the year – it feels like a clean slate and a chance to start afresh. A good time to think about new habits, set good intentions. However, the reality is that often these resolutions and intentions don’t work. We go back to our old patterns of behaviour and then end up feeling guilty and as if we’ve let ourselves down. Over the years, I have met so many strong and determined people who fail to stick to their New Year resolutions. If this resonates with you, I wondered if I could help you to see things a little differently by asking a more powerful question.
Rather than asking the question ‘What do I want to do differently?’ try asking ‘Why?’ You could do this as a meditation exercise in which you light a candle and sit with a paper and pencil in front of you. In this meditative inquiry think about the change you want to make (e.g. eat more healthily or get fitter) and then ask yourself Why? do I want this?
Keep going deeper…keep asking Why? until you arrive at the heart of why making this change is important to you. For example, if you want to do more exercise, your first Why? might take you to ‘to get fitter’. But Why do you want to get fitter? What would this give you? And Why is this important to you?
If you get stuck, be still and wait. The answer will come if you are patient. You may need to spend some time thinking about it as you go about your day. Just reflecting every now and then: Why is it important for me to do this?
One reason you might get stuck is because maybe this resolution really isn’t the right one for you! I once worked with a hard-working client who every year set herself the resolution of creating a pristine, tidy home. When she did this exercise she realised that actually this wasn’t so important to her and that what she really wanted was to have more fun with her children – less ironing, more laughing!
If your resolutions are coming from a place of ‘I need to do…, I should do…., I must do….’ it’s never going to happen. Trying to create a habit from this outer layer of superficiality is never going to work – energy always takes the path of least resistance and you’ll just keep doing what you’ve always done. To create true sustainable change, a new habit, you have to go deeper and find the core value that’s driving the desire to create a different outcome. Be brave and keep asking ‘Why?’ it will take you deeper and you may be amazed at what you find deep within. Then, from this place, you start to change your behaviour. One small step at a time, creating a different path for your energy to flow, creating a new reality for yourself.
When you have found your ‘Why’s’ write them down and keep them somewhere where you will see them every day – on your bathroom wall or stuck to your computer screen or even set a reminder on your phone. Just stay connected to what it is that you really want for yourself in 2015 and Why.
I call this ‘creating my SAT NAV co-ordinates for the year’ and this year mine are just a few simple words that will inform how I live, work and play. I’m not entirely sure what path I’m going to take but as long as I have my Sat Nav coordinates in place I know I will get there. I hope you have fun going deeper and looking for what it is that your heart truly wants in 2015.
I wish you all a year of peace, happiness and amazing health and energy.